is bye an emotion
Fuck Dolphin-Worship, Part 2
While I like to joke about them being horrible, I do not actually hate dolphins themselves; I just hate the disproportionate love people have for them over countless other animals and the very serious environmental repercussions of that love.
As we speak, there’s even fast-growing outrage - almost entirely among white people, of course - that other countries still routinely hunt and eat these predatory sea-dildos, and let me tell you every reason why that’s asinine:
1) Bottle-nosed dolphins are not endangered or even anywhere close to becoming endangered. They have been thriving around the world in fairly consistent numbers for decades.
2) There is not, and never has been, any evidence that dolphins are any more intelligent than anything we already put in a baconator. In fact, domestic pigs demonstrate far more compelling signs of self—awareness, forethought and emotion, and we eat more fucking pigs every day than there are people in America.
3) Unlike other mammals slaughtered and eaten in droves, nobody is raising dolphins in tiny little pens and feeding them chemical-laden slop their entire lives.
4) Countless other marine organisms, such as sharks, are ACTUALLY being devoured into extinction, but the scientific community has to fight tooth and nail to get anybody to even begin to care about them.
Romanticizing a species can be exactly as harmful to the world as demonizing other species. It would be great if people hunted dolphins in place of sharks. Just wonderful. You can eat most of a dolphin, but we lop just the fins off sharks and toss the rest. Dolphin soup would be several times more sustainable than shark’s fin, and marine environments desperately need more sharks while dolphins aren’t even close to threatened, and no, dolphins do not effectively replace the niche sharks leave behind.
If you would eat a fish or a lobster or a cow but wouldn’t eat a dolphin because you think they’re extra-special magical sea angels then I will personally eat a dolphin at you. An entire dolphin. I will just wolf that fucker straight down don’t think I won’t at least try